Something Not So Easy
by samtana
Summary: The truth is something not so easy. Kataang.


I don't own Avatar. It's a fire hazard.

**Something Not So Easy**

"Well," began Aang dramatically, hunching over the table, his elbows resting on the table, his hands propping his head up. "You all know how I was frozen in an iceberg, right?"

"For a hundred years!" Katara blurted out. She jovially took another sip of rice wine and set the cup back down with a lazy motion.

"It didn't feel like a hundred years, though," said Aang. "It only felt like a few days."

Suki's friend shook her head in wonder. "Avatar magic is so fascinating," she murmured.

"It's not magic," said Katara through a giggle. "It's bending!"

Aang and Katara were entertaining a distant friend for the weekend. More like an acquaintance, really. The Earth King had called representatives from communities around the world, and the Kioshi Warrior was called to represent Kioshi Island. Normally Suki would have come, but she had suddenly come down with the flu, so she sent her closest friend instead. Katara and Aang unrolled a mattress for her in the guest room, where she was to stay until the meeting was over.

"Anyway," continued Aang, "Eventually I woke up in the arms of a girl…"

"That would be me," laughed Katara, tossing her head into Aang's shoulder. He put his arm around her. He didn't mind it so much when she was rowdy after a few drinks. Actually, he greatly enjoyed seeing her so happy. The Reconstruction was going slowly, even after six years, and Katara's tendency to worry often took over her mind. It was relieving to see her relax.

"She was the most beautiful girl in the world," said Aang, slowly and poetically. "Of course, I hadn't seen every girl in the world yet, but I knew it was true the moment I saw her."

"Oh, stop it!" teased Katara, snuggling into his and closing her eyes.

"So you knew right away?" asked Suki's friend. There was a hint of anxiousness in her voice, but she was trying to hide it.

"Right away," said Aang confidently. "Unmistakably."

Suki's friend swallowed and turned her eyes to the floor. "Oh," she said softly.

Aang's smile faded a little, but he maintained the façade. Suki's friend had asked for advice regarding love because she had recently become infatuated with a man and wanted to know which way to proceed, how to tell if he shared her feelings, and how to know if she was truly in love or not. Aang could see it in her body language. She had not fallen in love with him instantly, and after hearing Aang's story was convinced she would receive no advice.

Perhaps Aang should have told her the truth.

Because the story he had told Suki's friend, as he did with so many others who asked of his and Katara's story, was a lie. The real story was so long and complicated, Aang had decided that it would be easier on himself and his listeners if he explained everything as love at first sight. It was so romantic an idea that it could never be refuted, and he would never be asked more than a few questions about it afterward. But the truth of the matter is that love is something not so easy as that. Wouldn't it be convenient for all one's questions about love to be resolved in the flash of a gaze, an instant of ocular connection? It would have been the only part of Aang's life that was easy, but, of course, it was not.

Aang cleared his throat. "Listen," he said. "What I just said – it's not really true." The girl looked up, a look on her face displaying eagerness to absorb more information. Encouraged, Aang continued, "That was just a fairy tale I tell people as an easy explanation for a long, complex chain of events."

Katara lifted her head from Aang's shoulder and gave him a blank look. "What do you mean?" she asked. "You don't think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?"

Aang smiled at her warmly. "Of course I do. I just didn't think so right away. It took time for me to feel that way about you. It wasn't instantaneous. In fact, the first time I saw you, I thought you were kind of ugly."

"What?" shrieked both girls at the same time.

"I had never liked the way Water Tribe members looked," explained Aang hastily. "Their skin is so dark, and the girls have those strange hair things. When I met you, I used to think those kinds of things were weird." Katara sat rigidly, her eyes aimlessly pointed downward. She wore an expression that gave no hints as to her inner thoughts. Aang added quickly, "But I don't think those things now. Actually, there's nothing I'd rather see."

"Do you mean that?" Katara asked at a near whisper. Her eyebrows were arched upwards, pleading. It was nearly seductive. Aang smiled reassuringly.

"I do," he said. "I mean it more completely than I ever thought was possible."

Katara relaxed a little. She seemed to want to steal a kiss, but Aang knew Suki's friend still waited for the answers to her questions. She wore a panicked expression, the kind that someone would wear if he was responsible for personal strife between mutual friends. When Aang turned to face her again she rectified herself, sitting up straight and wiping her face of anxiety.

"It never mattered much to me, anyway," said Aang. "I had a lot more important things to do than fall in love."

"Like saving the world," snickered Katara.

"Yes, like saving the world," said Aang. "And it didn't matter that Katara and her brother weren't attractive people. What mattered is that they were nice people, good people to be friends with, and good people to travel with. I mean, I might have taken a long time to fall in love with Katara's beauty, but it didn't take long at all to like her for who she is."

Katara leaned back into his shoulder and sighed. Any tension that had once hung in the room was now out the window. Suki's friend looked at Aang expectantly, with the expression of an eager schoolgirl. If she was given a pen and a sheet of paper, Aang would have expected her to take notes.

"Quickly I found out that she was much more than a person to go penguin sledding with," continued Aang. "She was caring, thoughtful, responsible, and she always seemed to know what was on my mind and how to make me feel better. No one else in the world would have been able to deal with me. I mean, I was chosen to save the world, my people had been wiped out, and I was only twelve and would have rather been playing games. Katara took on the challenge of living with me when all logic said she shouldn't have, just because she cared. It's crippling to be cared about that much. I don't even know if she understood how much it meant to me at the time."

Katara let out a giggle, her warm body shaking peacefully next to him.

"Slowly but wonderfully, I began to realize that the beauty of Katara's soul shone through in her appearance in ways I had never noticed before. It took time, but eventually I expected the hair loops to sway in the wind when she talked. I began to appreciate her skin tone and the way it blended in with tree bark. And those eyes…those blue eyes became so enchanting."

Katara tilting her head up to him with wide eyes as if to illustrate the point. She looked so innocent for a moment before breaking into laughter again. Aang looked back at Suki's friend, whose eyes were darting around here and there. He was making her uncomfortable.

"There was one more problem, though," said Aang, changing the subject from physical beauty. "Even when I was able to admit to myself that she was beautiful, even when I could not think of anything more beautiful, there was a problem. I did not want to fall in love."

"You didn't?" said Suki's friend, her voice squeaking like a mouse.

"Well, I had so many other things I need to focus on," explained Aang. "I had to learn the elements, train to defeat the Fire Lord before my next birthday, and basically save the world."

"Saving the world comes before love, then, I guess," said Suki's friend with the beginnings of a smile. She was trying to make a joke, Aang could tell by the tone of her voice, so he forced out a chuckle.

"That's the way it should be," said Aang. "Or, that's what I kept telling myself. Whenever I meditated I tried to clear my mind of all my desire for her, or just pretend it wasn't there. But then I'd be with her, and sometimes I could only think of finding the best way to tell her how I feel or what kissing her would feel like."

Katara giggled again and Suki's friend began to fidget. Aang made a mental note not to mention those sorts of details in the future. Once Suki's friend was gone he could tell Katara that he was relieved they hadn't kissed in the Cave of Two Lovers, but now was not the time for that comment.

"However," Aang said, "just as time made me realize how beautiful Katara really is, time allowed me to accept that I had fallen in love with her. I had different ways of thinking about it. Early on I felt that I owed it to her to say something. What if something happened to either of us? She deserved to know, even if it wasn't the time for us to be together yet. But every time I tried to tell her, something happened. I'm told that's typical."

"It is," nodded Suki's friend. She was smiling a little again, and Aang had the feeling that she had been through the same thing once or twice.

"Then I thought that being in love with her and traveling together was enough for me," said Aang. "I wouldn't need anything physical if it was true love, I told myself." Aang laughed. "That line of thought didn't last very long."

Suki's friend laughed nervously. There was a slight snoring sound coming from Aang's shoulder. Katara had fallen asleep. It was only a matter of time before Aang's arm started to lose its feeling.

"Then I thought that it would be horrible to go into a battle that could end my life without knowing if she felt the same way about me. It's terrible not knowing if your love doesn't love you back, you know?"

Suki's friend nodded. "Do you think we should be a little quieter?" she whispered, gesturing at Katara.

"I'm not asleep," mumbled Katara nearly incoherently, slurring her syllables. "I'm just resting my eyes." She breathed in deeply through her nose, sounding a little like a snore. Aang smiled.

"Eventually I rolled all those ways of thinking into one," said Aang, lowering his voice a little. "I wanted to know how she felt about me and I felt she deserved to know how I felt, but I forced myself to be content with that. No matter what her answer was, as long as she was happy, I promised myself I'd be okay with it."

"And then came the eclipse?" mumbled Katara.

"Yes, that was the day of the eclipse."

"What happened on the eclipse?" asked Suki's friend.

Aang shrugged. "A heart to heart conversation."

Katara laughed sleepily. "A lips to lips conversation."

Aang smiled sheepishly as Suki's friend's eyes aimed at the floor. "A little of both, actually," he said.

"I wasn't ready," said Katara, lifting her head off Aang's shoulder and speaking a little more coherently. "He caught me by surprise."

"She doesn't like surprises," said Aang. "Most of the time."

"I had no idea he thought about me like that," she said. "He says he thought he was obvious, but I thought he covered it up pretty well."

"Anyway," interrupted Aang, anxious to continue the story. He had just been hit by a wave of fatigue, and sleep became a higher priority in his mind. Time to wrap up the story. "I had to change my mind one more time. It felt selfish, but I wanted her so badly I didn't know what to do. I wanted her to be happy with me, but I would have rather had her with me while she was unhappy than to watch her and keep wishing I had her. It's sad, and it's selfish, but it's true.

"It didn't take long to realize she didn't love me back. We would have kissed again sooner if that was the case. I tried to be okay with it, to leave her alone for her own happiness. But I was slowly being driven crazy. Eventually I snapped."

"At the Ember Island play?" asked Katara.

"Yes."

"What's the Ember Island – you know what? Forget it."

"The point is," said Aang, pushing for the end, "love is not an easy thing to do, and it's different for everyone. Love at first sight is wishful thinking, something to make love seem easy when everyone knows it's not. Real love takes work, and it takes pain. But after you make it through all of that, you get to experience the best feeling in the world."

Feeling that it was the right thing to do, Aang smiled. He felt like a father, explaining the unexplainable to a young daughter, even though Suki's friend was definitely older than he was, unless you count those 100 years in the iceberg. Suki's friend, realizing the story was over, smiled and nodded. She looked a lot more at ease than after the first bland telling of the story.

As if reading Aang's mind, Suki's friend raised her hand to her mouth and gave a grand yawn. Aang was already thinking of the next meeting, how to appear and what to say. He had not been sleeping well lately, and the early appointments with Earth Kingdom generals didn't help. He made to stand up, but Katara spoke up.

"It's so funny that you say all that, because it didn't take me long at all to fall in love with you after the eclipse," she said.

"Really?" asked Aang. He couldn't think of anything better to say. It was too late at night.

"I hadn't even considered it as a possibility until the eclipse," Katara said. "But as soon as I did I was infatuated with you." She laughed obnoxiously. "And you not wearing a shirt didn't help!"

"Really?" repeated Aang. "I had no idea."

"She must have been covering it up pretty well, herself," smiled Suki's friend.

"I guess if you're in love with someone," mused Aang, "you assume they don't love you back."

"Oh, I knew you loved me," said Katara, nodding. "You made it very clear."

Aang smiled and made himself small. "Right."

"The problem for me," said Katara in a way that hinted there was about to be a long story to be told, "was that I fell in love too fast. I began to worry that it wasn't true love because it was so fast."

"So that's why you were confused," said Aang with the realization of a scientist discovering a new star.

"That's right," said Katara. "But in the end, I figured I'd just jump in and find out if it was true love later. And you know what?" she interrupted herself by pulling Aang's face into hers for a short peck. "I'm still in love."

Aang couldn't help but notice that Suki's friend was looking away again. How could one possibly have this conversation without being a little awkward about it? Aang figured it was time to end social activities for the night. He yawned.

"I think we should go to sleep now," said Suki's friend, taking the initiative.

"I agree," said Aang. "Were we able to help you at all?"

Suki's friend considered the question for a moment. "Yes," she said. "You made it clear that nothing anyone says can help when it comes to something so complicated and so specific as love."

_Fine_

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I know, I said I wasn't going to post again for two weeks, but I found out it was Kataang week and had to do something. Plus I was feeling extremely guilty for posting "Fool Yourself" on Sunday, the first day of Kataang week. If only I had known! Hopefully this makes up for it, my former friends…

This story is my response to a lot of cheesy Kataang I've read recently where Aang says he woke up in the arms of an angel, or Katara say she loved him since the moment she saw him, yada yada yada. Listen, folks, I don't believe in that crap. It's too convenient. Not only that, but there's plenty of evidence that Aang didn't start thinking about Katara that way until near the end of season one. And ilove at first sight doesn't explain the Ember Island Players at all. So please, fellow Kataang writers, let's stop taking the easy way out, shall we?

Happy birthday, True-Romantique.

-samtana


End file.
